New Year, But Not A New Me

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Like this photo I’m taking a leap of faith for the new year. *Photo not mine*

2020 is finally over, and we’ve moved onto what I can only hope to be a better year.

At the end of 2019, I had been hopeful for 2020. In 2019, my mother was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, put into a hospital, and my husband (who was born with polycystic kidneys), was told that he had a large tumor on his right kidney, and they weren’t sure if it was cancer or not. He under went surgery at the end of the year.

When 2020 came, we found out he didn’t have cancer, the remaining kidney wasn’t great but holding its own. My mom was put into long term care and started to improve. I felt good. Like the nightmare was over. I got back to reading, I even started using a planner and getting organized.

But before long, the corona virus was world wide, my business was mandated to shut down (which lasted for two and a half months). I wasn’t able to see my mom for a long time (for her safety), and when I could it was limited but I was grateful. I worried about the future of my business, my creative side of my brain was too busy worrying and feeling uncertain that my plan to write a novel during shut down went quickly down the toilet.

On top of all that, my husband got the news his kidney took a drastic decline, he was told he wasn’t allowed to go away for work by his doctor since he now needs a kidney transplant. We don’t know how long this will take. The process is a long one, and I am still waiting to hear if I am a match or not.

By this time, the hope I had for 2020 was down the toilet, too. With everything that was going on, a lot took a back burner. Including this blog.

But, in all the mess there were good moments. Work reopened and I was busy. My husband is otherwise healthy and soon will start dialysis. I wrote 50,000 in November for National Novel Writing Month (not the full novel but a good chunk), and of coarse the news broke that there was a vaccine. Hope to eventually get back to normal. Or, “normal-ish”.

Not to mention the second season of The Mandalorian was EPIC. (I am obsessed with Baby Yoda/Grogu). I hit the books and read seventeen novels. I know there’s people who read way more then me but I’m happy with the number. My book club, The Happy Bookers, kept going. We met online. We didn’t let a pandemic slow us down! 😉 It helped give me something to do and focus on. Things like snail mail started making a come back and people began to connect more and even re-connecting with people from their past. I’m happy to say I created a stronger friendship with one person, and I heard from a former pen pal of mine, and we have picked up where we left off.

At the end of December I was hesitant coming into the new year. I felt happy and hopeful and to be honest, that scared me. Because in the last two years I have learned that when I feel that way, it doesn’t last long.

So I decided to tip toe into 2021. With some hope and keeping my enthusiasm to a minimum for now. I’m not making any plans or resolutions. There’s things I want to do but that has nothing to do with a new year beginning. I just have some major catching up to do. 😉 I also plan to get back to my Nano novel soon, as I forgot how much I loved to write and turns out, I can still do it. I can still get words in, create new worlds and characters.

So, it’s a new year but same old me. But I’m okay with that. I do hope that each one of you have a wonderful year. That good things happen for you and to you. I think we all deserve that after this crazy time that will go in the history books.

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