New Year, Fresh Start

More like a fresh outlook.

Just because it’s now a new year doesn’t mean that the past two years have been wiped clean. But I am choosing to deal with it differently.

A new way to look at things. *not my image-credit to owner*

Last year was an epic dumpster fire, and I had a hard time feeling positive about anything. I had a lot going on in my personal life, not to mention the mental burnout of the pandemic.

At the end of 2021, I started to *slightly* feel better mentally. And more like my old self. And I want to hang onto that with all that I got.

Over the years I have flipflopped between making new years resolutions and not caring either way. While this year I’m not exactly making resolutions, I am making a bit of a plan.

The biggest thing for me is to keep my focus on the positive as well as projects. I have a massive TBR pile, a secret book project I’m putting together for family in honor of my mother, and getting back to writing daily. Even something small. I won’t beat myself up when I have unproductive days. My goal however is to have many more productive days then I did last year. (Which shouldn’t be hard since I can practically count them on one hand)

In hindsight, the best thing I did last year was write my mom’s obituary and eulogy. Those were hard for me to do, especially having to speak in front of everyone. Family or not, I’m not a fan of doing that. But I did it. And I did it for her. They were the last things I could do for her, and I feel like I did it well. So in that I am proud of myself. I think she’d be proud of me too.

I think a part of my mental burn out was the doom scrolling and so much pandemic talk. This year I won’t be doing so much doom scrolling. And using my creative outlets to think about other things.

Well, if you’d excuse me, I’m off to finish binge watching season four of Cobra Kai.

What do you hope to get out of 2022?

Hello? Is this thing on?

*Steps in and looks around*

It’s been awhile. Almost a year, actually, since my last post. And some of you probably forgot you even followed me and are wondering where did this random woman come from.

I had this whole dream of 2021 being a better year then 2020. Oh my sweet summer child, how wrong I was.

The year wasn’t a total bust. Thanks to DNA kits I bought hubby and I for Christmas last year, I have found new family, discovered some very cool connections (that I plan to write about at a later time) and I also helped Mr. C find his bio paternal family. His birth father sadly passed away a few years ago, but he’s in contact and meeting his new, massive family. (We live in a small area. One uncle lives so close that Mr. C could hit his house with a rock).

Off the top of my head, that’s probably the best thing that happened this year outside of the chaos of our lives.

Mr. C started hemodialysis in January, which in some ways helped but also drained him. In the summer he went in for surgery to have tube inserted into a membrane by the stomach. So now he is on home therapy, something called Peritoneal Dialysis. This has improved his health drastically as well as his mindset. He’s got a lot of normalcy again. So that’s a plus.

My mother’s Lewy Body Dementia progressed, making her decline farther. On October 6th of this year, my mom suddenly passed away. Thankfully is was peaceful and there was no suffering. But God do I miss her.

Last week while at the hospital for more training on another way of doing home dialysis, I sat in the cafeteria at lunch deep in thought.

The last two years have been full of nothing but bad news and other upsets. It’s taken the good out of me, and the things I loved doing have been put on the back burner or I didn’t have it in me to do any of it. So I made a plan. Well, more like determination set in.

Next year is going to be different. I know there is a lot of things I can’t control, but there are lots of things I can control. I already signed up for a virtual event for nerds like me who are into family trees/ancestry. I told my husband we are getting him on the transplant list next year. Step one of that is for him to lose some weight. This new therapy has given him more freedom and wellness, and already he is a bit more active and making better food choices. The road ahead won’t be perfect but we will take it one day, sometimes one minute, at a time.

I also have a massive stack of unread books calling my name, so I hope to get back to my book reviews. I also plan to write more. I am starting small with a goal of writing a few lines a day, or a blog post or maybe some flash fiction. This blog won’t sit dormant like it has. If it does I may as well just scrap the thing this time next year.

Maybe if I’m lucky, by this time next year I might find the old me. The ‘me’ that existed before heartbreak and pandemic burnout.

Hello, it’s me again…

Well, I can’t remember the last time I was here. I think at the time I was having a hard go of things.

To be honest, my 2019 haven’t been so hot. And from what I hear from people I talk to, it has been the same for many people. If you are one of those people, I feel for ya. If not, well I am glad at least someone has been having some good luck.

I have put myself and my health on the back burner. Over the last couple of months, my hubby has been dealing with some health issues. Life has become a series of hospital stays, doctor appointments, praying to God and the universe, on top of daily life.

My anxiety went through the roof. But I am happy to say that part is improving, thanks to a doc who referred me to mental health as well as a program called ICAN.

I have a much more positive outlook for 2020 🙂 I plan to get back to my book reviews (one coming soon!), starting a book club and getting organized in my daily and writing life. I have already started the declutter by removing an obscene amount of people from my Facebook.

If you have stuck around, I thank you 🙂 More fun and positive posts coming soon and in the new year!

The World Sucks Sometimes

I’m having a hard time, folks.

Usually when I come on here, I talk about my favorite things: A book review, a comic con trip or something writing related. This is my little place to chat about things I love.

But today I need to talk about something else. I have all these emotions and I don’t know what to do with them.

My faith in humanity is waning.

I used to think if I ever won the lotto, I would quit my job, buy a cozy cabin in the country and work on my writing. It was a nice happy thought. A place by the water, where I would have the best view of my private paradise.

But now when I think about that it’s my idea of escaping the outside world. Every time I turn on the news, I see something awful. Facebook is full of horrible stories. A dog (Galgo) found hung up in an empty building, the orangutan shot over 70 times (I HATE animal abuse). I see stories of children being murdered, the environment going to shit and increased violence and racism.

It all makes me sick. And it feels like it is all I ever see and hear.  It really gets to a person after awhile. Maybe I am the only one who feels like this, but I am sick of this shit. I don’t understand how people can do so much nasty shit. Who has the sick mind to string up a dog? How can someone hate another just because their skin tones don’t match? And how can a grown ass person think it is ok to beat a senior citizen?

I don’t mean to be a Negative Nelly here. I really don’t. I’m just trying to make sense of things and sort out my emotions. I am cursed with the fact I am far too empathetic. Well, on days like today it feels like a curse.

I guess all I can do is share the good news stories, and put as much good out in the world as I can.

 

May Madness

Hey all!

How is May going for you? It’s been an interesting month so far, both in my life as well as the world in general. To my fellow authors, #cockygate: wtf?!

I haven’t had a chance to write a proper post. I have been pretty busy, which is a good thing. But I wanted to pop in and keep the writing wheels greased.

Work is crazy busy. Everyone wants their toes lookin’ good since summer is on the way. The weather is warming up and the sun is out more. People still complain that it is chilly. Like, there is NO snow on the ground, be happy!

Also I have had to tackle some “not fun” stuff like paper work prep to get my taxes done. Being self employed means I get extra time to file. AKA more time to procrastinate like a motherfucker.

Mr. C left Sunday for work. Which means I can spring clean and purge without him underfoot. I love him but it’s so much easier to do these things with him out of the house. I can work uninterrupted and I can toss things without him questioning me. My goal: get the housework done by next weekend so I can slack off til he gets home. And by slack off I mean catch up on Supernatural and write.

Even though I am busy my imagination is always at work. I am excited to be able to get to some projects. I also hope to get to some creative projects before the month is over as well.

So, how is May treating you so far?

 

A Letter to My 18 Year Old Self: On Writing

Dear Kid, (cuz yeah, that’s what you still are)

You’re a daydreamer. And good news: that doesn’t stop. Bonus points: it pays off someday. In the not to distant future, you’re gonna get published for the first time. How great is that?!

But here is the thing…you gotta KEEP writing. Even when it is shit. ESPECIALLY when it is shit.

Don’t throw out any of your work. That’s a pain in the heart you can’t get back. Every bit of writing should be kept. Just in case. If anything, you can see how you’ve grown. Or have a good laugh.

Backup EVERYTHING. Anything you save on a laptop, save in other places. Hell, email it to yourself. Because when the time comes and you don’t do that, you will hate yourself. Trust me.

Write more. Put writing at the top of your priority list. Fill those note books with ideas, dreams, scene and plot ideas. Write more short stories. Start those novels. Finish them. Even if it is just ten or twenty minutes a day, write something down.

Read more. Not just fiction. You got that pretty covered. Read books on writing. Blogs on writing. There is lots of great (and not so great) info out there.

And when you get the chance, go to that writers group. Don’t be nervous. Trust me, it’s one of the best things you will ever do.

And last but not least, don’t beat yourself up. When writing isn’t going well or you feel like your idea is stupid, don’t get frustrated. Just keep going Kid. Books and story telling have been in your heart since day 1.

Love,

Your future self

March Wrap Up

This was a pretty great month! I managed to check off something I wanted to do this year, as well as check off something from the bucket list! And my goals for the year are still coming along nicely! 🙂

Writing: Writing has been slow, but that’s okay. I do have a finished short story that needs some lines edits. This month I came up with a few new ideas, so I have some plot bunnies growing. I also have been gathering ideas/images and putting them on a secret Pinterest board. So while my hands have been idle at the computer, my brain has been going non-stop.

Blogging: Look at me, being all consistent for three months. 😉 I am having so much fun being here, and I love being interactive with YOU in the comments. Also, the author of The Devil’s Heart, Candace Osmond, loved the review I wrote and shared it to her author Facebook page! Sweet! 😀

The Book Pile: I am still on track with my goal. I just started the third compendium in The Walking Dead series. Hubby got it for me at Christmas and I am finally sitting down with it. I will finish it soon and book six of the year will be under my belt.

Positive Vibes: I have added a lot of good things to my positivity journal. I didn’t take it when I went to Toronto, but I made notes and added them when I came home. My way of thinking has changed so much. I still have my bad days, but they don’t last as long as they did before. This journal has helped me with winter blues and my depression. This is one of the best things I have ever done.

Toronto Comic Con: This was on my personal list of big things to do this year. It was my first time there and I had so much fun! I now have ten comic cons under my belt. I hope I can get there next year as well.

Bucket List- The ROM: I have been wanting to go to the Royal Ontario Museum for the last five or six years. I was beyond thrilled when Mr. C was able to score us tickets for my last day in Toronto. Bonus: The Viking exhibit is happening right now, so we went to that first. I will be blogging about my time there soon. 🙂

So, how was your March? Tell me about it in the comments!

February Wrap Up

Check it out, two months into the year and I am actually keeping up with my goals. Woot woot! 😉 Today is also my momma’s birthday. She is an amazing woman and I love her to bits.

This month was good in a lot of ways. Winter hasn’t been nearly as harsh as usual, thinking more positive is making a big difference in me, and I am checking off goals and adding new ones.

Writing: I finished a short story which is now in the hands of my first round of beta readers. I am getting great feedback. The biggest thing for me is that my editing skills have improved a lot. Aside from some line edits, I don’t need to make any major changes. Now I am figuring out what to work on next: a fantasy novel I started a few years back, or finish a story I started last NaNoWriMo.

Blogging:  I have been keeping up with this little corner of my world. I love popping in here. It helps to organize my thoughts, and I love chatting to those who comment. 🙂

Positive vibes: This month has had some bumps. For instance, I have hit that wall where I just want my husband to be home. It isn’t easy that he has to work away. BUT, the way I view things now has most certainly gotten me through things. I still write at least one good thing a day in a journal, and when I feel my thoughts going down a bad path, I stop myself and can usually get myself back on track. I feel really frickin’ good, peeps! 😀

The Book Pile: I am now on book four of the year! My goal is to read fifteen, which is very attainable. If and when I go beyond that, bonus! Although I did break my reading rule. Instead of reading books only out on my table, I have been switching things up. But hey, i am in the reading groove again, that’s all that matters.

Other projects: I have been doing pretty good with keeping up on my pen pal letters. I have a couple to write, but they are newer. It feels good being more regular in my snail mail. I am hoping to make my own envelopes soon, or at least creating some mail art.

I hope you have had a great month. How are your goals coming along?

Why Every Writer Needs A Writers Group

No matter if it is an online group or an in-person meeting, being in a writers group can help you out a lot. Joining my group was one of the best things I have ever done. I joined The Story Forge about fifteen years ago.

My group is laid back. We get that life happens and you can’t make it to every meeting or that you can’t get so many chapters written. There are also groups out there with more structure.

A Mixed Bag.  Our group has everyone from those who write for fun and for themselves, as well as published authors who are busy in the writing community. (Writers in schools programs, signings, readings etc…) We bounce around ideas and talk about various topics. We all also have different genres that interest us, from poetry to sci-fi and mainstream. Everyone has something to offer.

Support and Encouragement. I have left more than one meeting feeling inspired and ready to concur my current writing project. And on days I have felt like I want to give up, my friends help me realize that I am being crazy. If one of us is in the middle of something big or crazy, like NaNoWrimo, we encourage each other to keep going. Not every one in our daily life understands what a writer is feeling, but your writing friends always do and are there to back you up or give you a kick in the pants if needed.

You Learn A lot. My writing and editing skills have improved immensely since I started going to The Story Forge.  I also feel more confident when I critique someones work. While I am far from perfect, I enjoy helping others and feel I can help.

Brainstorming. Stuck with a plot? Need advice on a topic? Or maybe you are unsure if killing a character will help or hinder your story? Ask your writing buddies. They will give you feedback that you can mull over and help you figure out where to go next. Sometimes more brains are better than one.

Feedback. Finished a piece and need a second pair of eyes? Odds are someone will offer to read your work for you. The great thing about this is that they may see something you missed. When you read your own work umpteen times, you are going to miss the little things, or a problem you didn’t realized you had.

A Night Out. Writers tend to be solitary. Not always, but I am one of them. When I am not at work or out with friends, my favorite night in is curled up with hubby watching tv or with a book. It’s good to get out and talk with people who share your interests.

 

Where to find a group: Check your local library and ask a librarian. That’s how I learned about The Story Forge. You can also find them online like on Facebook. I belong to online groups as well, but meeting up in person gets you out of the house for an evening out, and you can make real life friends you can meet up with in between times. One of my friends is coming over tomorrow, for a coffee and a mini writing session. When all else fails, start your own! Put up a flyer at a local library or start your own online group.

How I have changed and benefited since joining my group: I have been published four times. (Soon to be a fifth…our group is putting an anthology together and the money made will go to our local library.) I have learned a lot about writing and improved so much. I have made some great friends; one of which was my matron of honor. I have become more confident and learned how to turn my inner critic off.

That’s just my take on it. I love my group so much and think every writer can benefit from having one.

Do you belong to a group? What is your favorite thing about it?

 

Hopes and Plans for 2018

I’m spending my New Years Eve home, in my pj’s with snacks. A perfect night in. After a hectic few weeks with work and the holidays, I am more then happy to stay at home tonight. I am about to have a marathon of The Strain. Love me some vampires!

I have been thinking all day of the things I want to do. I want to make 2018 a great year. I want to continue my personal growth, create some habits and have as much fun and laughs as possible.

I believe that telling people your plans makes you accountable, so I thought I would make my last blog post of the year about my plans (so far) for the new one. Hopefully this time next year my post won’t be about how all my plans went to crap haha. So, here are a few things I would like to do in 2018!

#1: Do at least two 100 day challenges.  I have been watching a lot of videos the last few days on Facebook about different challenges people have done, and I love the idea. Some people go to the gym, while others conquer their fears. Mine are not that fun haha, so no videos about them. I will start my first one in the next day or two, which will be no Pepsi or Coke. With the holidays I have been drinking a lot of it and I feel gross. My second one which I will start the end of March will be to write a page a day for 100 days. I have other writing goals, as well, but this will help me if I start to slack.

#2: Go to Toronto Comic Con. I found out the other day that Mr. C is flying me out to see him in March for a few days (hence not starting my writing challenge til spring…I won’t be writing a word those days), and while I am with him we are going to go to Comic Con! I can’t wait! I haven’t been to that con and I hope to see my friend Laura there as well. (Who I first met at Fan Expo 🙂 ) I hope to get to three comic cons this year. They are my favorite places to be. ❤

#3: Commit more time to writing. I am going to work on my writing three evenings a week. Some nights it might be editing, while others it might be working on new projects. I figure three nights isn’t too much pressure, and if I write more then that, bonus! Plus, I really want to blog at least once a week.

#4: Read. I have so many books on my TBR pile. I didn’t do much reading this year, and I hate that. I bought a lot so that has to count for something, right? 😉 I will review each one on here, even if it is just a few words.

#5: Savor every day. I am cracking out one of my journals and each day I will write one good thing about that day. I said in my last post that I want to have a lot more positivity in my life, and I want to keep track of that. It might be feeling good, a chat with a good friend or the feeling of spring sunshine on my face. Life is too short to let the days whiz by and not focus on the little things.

Well, that is my list. What do you hope to do this new year? Whatever you are doing tonight be safe and have fun!

Now if you will excuse me, vampires are calling my name. 😉